::flops on the Big Couch O Depression:: I know I'm supposed to be making an effort to like myself more and everything, but I need to angst now. I need to angst because I did not make the Wordsmith team (I'm the alternate...) and I feel that is a very valid reason to angst because Wordsmith is important to me.

Let me explain Wordsmith. It's basically a writing marathon. There's three 'events' or 'dashes'--first, you describe an object (in about forty words or something), then you describe a (black and white o.o) photograph, then you write an editorial. After that, they announce 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners in each category. The winners go on to the final event, which is an essay writing contest. Teams from schools all over Memphis compete, and are composed of two students from each grade, plus an alternate in case one of the team members gets sick or dies or something. It's a fun thing, and it's held at the University of Memphis. I was on the team freshman and sophomore year, probably why I'm doubly depressed at being nothing but an alternate this year.

I don't know. I'm not sobbing or anything. I just feel disappointed in myself, but I know, really, that's it not entirely me. For one, I was clueless on practices, so I missed several meetings that Traverse had deemed 'mandatory.' Traverse is one of the English teachers; not mine, so he doesn't even know me. This brings me to the other reason why I might not have gotten selected... everyone says he plays favorites, and said favorite made the team instead of me. What's even more upsetting is that she's a girl I strongly dislike... she's a violent bigot (her family were missionaries in Zimbabwe, so she's uber-religious and thinks gay people should die and animals don't have souls so it's okay to slaughter them mercilessly and all this crazy business o.o). I realize that a person's personality is separate from their writing skills, but the fact remains that it stings when someone you dislike gets what you wanted.