Y'know, maybe I should close this blog and my LJ and only write in the news blog for updates....
i dunno, i'm just talking. i am filled with self doubt and loathing at this time. It's so easy to feel like nobody needs you and nobody wants to see you or talk to you, even if you JUST SAW AND TALKED TO SOMEONE... especially if it's late and dark and quiet and you're all alone in a room and feeling suddenly depressed and lonely. I don't know why I get like this. I hate it and I hate myself for doing it, but i... I just can't help it. but it helps to log this stuff so i hope none of you minds. i just feel really awful right now and i don't even know why (or maybe i do, but the trigger is so stupid i'm ashamed of it).