I realize I sound hostile in that previous entry; I feel hostile. I know a lot of people don't take stock in soulbonding, but I do, and last night me and one of mine (Sean, of course. He always yells me out of a depression) had a lovely conversation, and I realized something. I realized something that people have been telling me for years, but it's taken the last few days and last night for it to be hammered in thoroughly.

I AM NOT MY FRIENDS. I am not DEFINED by the people in my 'groups'. My self worth is NOT DEPENDENT on what they think of me and it shouldn't be. My self worth is determined by what I think of MYSELF and what I do with MYSELF and the way I treat people. And I may be angsty as all hell, but I think treat people pretty damn well. I help when help is needed. I encourage, I give feedback, I cheer up. I do all that I can to be a good friend and I think I am a good friend. And even if you don't like me, and I don't like you, if you're in trouble, I'll help you. Because that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to help people. And even if you don't like me, I'll never ignore you. I'll always listen to what you say and I'll say something back. Because (excuse my profanity) I FUCKING HATE being ignored, as I've already said. The only person I ignore is my brother, and that's because he beats me up and threatens to kill me daily. =P But that's a tangent.

The real point here is that I'm tired of this and it's not going to happen anymore. I AM a GOOD person. I'm not a WONDERFUL person, but I'm a GOOD person. I care about people, I feel empathy with people, I respect people. I work hard for what I want and I'm grateful for all that I have. I'm pretty (I just have bad hair). I make good scores in school and I'm smart. And I'm TIRED of letting myself be pulled down just because I THINK people don't like me.

NO MORE.