Yes, I heard you Sally, and yes I am scared, and now I'm even more scared because I'm afraid I'm going to lose Emiko, too. But you know what... it's New Year's Eve. Tomorrow 2001 will be no more. And nothing I say or do is going to make either of you understand why I feel the way I do, so just forget it. I'm not going to say anything, I'm not going to try to intiate contact with either of you for any reason (umm, unless it's an emergency of some sort...), I'll just.. try to deal with it by myself. This is spiraling into out of control territory, so if you have anything more to say and you really don't want to drag it into public view, then just say it in an email... but Kyla, if you believe nothing else, you must believe that I didn't know Emiko read this and I didn't know she would find out. I didn't want her to find out, as much as you did. She's my good friend, too, Kai...and Emiko, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. I know apologies don't mean much to you Kai, for whatever reason, but it's all I can do. -_-

Actually... I don't even know when I'll be able to get on next... The cable people are coming today to install digital cable (we're getting rid of the satellite dish) and who knows what could happen to my connection. -_-;