...of course, if we go by software, then almost all of us are dirty little thieves.

I was reading Sallysama's blog and she talked bout her brother stealing... and I wondered how many people in their lives have stolen before..

I have, but not really intentionally. You see, when I was younger (elementary school), my teachers would keep bookshelves in the back of the room and let us take books to read when we were finished with our work. I often took the books home and finished them (which was allowed), but I always forgot to return them. So I have a small bag of books that I just never returned. ^^;

Sally's making a page a la Etienne.. tho it is jampacked with smarmy commentary XD (I like the word 'smarmy'...)

If I left it at school.. it's possible that it's lost and gone forever, because I think I might have left it in the gym at the pep rally *_* Well I have two options... I can just rewrite what was in there (a bit more of ISV) or I could just forget about it and wait... leaning towards option #2 :B

Damn it.. I can't find my bloody notebook.. I think I left it at school... arrrrgggghh.....

YAY, Rumika~! Congratulations on your 92 XD Let's hope I do as well on my Chem test on Tuesday... --
I plan to study on Sunday and come in early for extra help on Monday.. I've just GOT to do well...

Hey, Nichole's got a blog now too. Haaaa :D

O yes
Hello to Ashley & Donna too :D

Annnd before I go to bed..time to get cliquey and respond to people :B
[TALKING TO PEOPLE MODE]

Kat, nope, fraid I don't know how to make pipe bombs.
Mal, I've already tol' you, but the new layout's fluffy..
Jon, you ARE a good writer, better than me, don't get all hopeless on me. =P
B, breakups suck. I know it. -- I'm sorry.
Sally.. umm.. love you :D
I'm glad you're feeling better, Kit...
Everyone needs to look at Kendra's Icarus doll...
Kristen-sama has a blog now...
Kai doesn't read this but I'm saying hello to her anyway even though she LEFT me last night without a valid response to what I was saying~
Hello to Courtney also.. just cos
Oneechan del is sending me more angel sanctuary :D
Tanyahime is drawing naked Kaitlyn XD
Steph always tries to cheer me up XD
& yes, Jessie, it is my mission to make you ALL blog addicts bwahahahahaa =p

Now that I have been cliquey for the whenever, I will retire~ goodnight boys & girls.

By now I'm sure you're NOT thinking, well, what is your dream, lyn. Most of you know it already but I'll say it again just because I want to...

My dream is to walk into a bookstore and see a book _I_ wrote on the shelf (preferably the bestseller shelf, but let's not get our hopes up XD).

But I have other dreams, too. I want my writing to inspire people. I want to create characters that people really CARE about. So that when they read my stories they get upset when bad things happen to my characters and then happy when good things happen, to reduce it to the simplest terms possible. I want people to read what I write and FEEL something (other than utter disgust, I mean).

Being famous would be nice.. but the fact is that it wouldn't mean anything if I couldn't achieve the above. That's what I really want to do. That's what I want my writing to accomplish.

Someday. -.-

Now, let's get on with reasons why I am not all that great (note that I am not meaning to disrespect myself here, I am stating simple truths =p).

First, I am a design simpleton. This is very plain to all, I am sure. After all, I am so embarrassed by my sites lack of aesthetic quality that I must find other people to lend them the aspect. However, it's not just in webdesign. My character designs are fairly lacking in originality also, especially in terms of costumes. It took me like half a year (um, more than that literally) to change the Mana Senshi's fuku to something semi original and even then it's quite simple and blarg. Same for our friend Etienne's princely thing and every other clothing design I do (and of course we have Sean over there with his shirtless black pants-ed self =p). One of the reasons that my characters tend to have facial marks is because, since I can't do costume design, I try as hard as I can to make the face interesting.

My plots are not that new or original, and my writing really isn't even that good. I personally think I write in a rushed, not-very-descriptive and dialogue heavy manner..which I would like to change, but it's difficult because Clarity has soo many characters... It's a lot easier with Claris, since it's in first person and Claris &Sean are the most important people anyway, but still. My battle scenes are quite blarg, as well. I've got to figure something out for that.. I don't know what quite yet but..something. I've just GOT to get better or I'll never achieve my dream.

Well THAT was a pleasant previous entry wasn't it... Ummm.. let's see, more business on writing... I would be lying if I said that I wrote entirely for myself, because obviously I don't. If I wrote entirely for myself, then I would not put it online, I would not nag people to read it, and I would not carefully read/listen to responses, et cetera. Do I care if my writing and my characters are liked? Well, obviously yes. Do I think there's something with that? No. No, I don't.

Am I a hitslut? Why yes. Do I think there's something wrong with that? No.

But do I do thinks to please other people. Sometimes, yes. Clarity's Valentine's Special is a very good example of this~mostly, its outcome was decided by popular opinion around me and not what would have actually happened had I kept the characters in character (as several people have pointed out to me). But for the most part, no, I do not write in accordance with the popular opinion around me. If I did, the homosexual character population of claris and clarity would skyrocket. =P

I think I do get a fair amount of hits and I guess I can sort of admit that maybe there's a small portion of people out there who like me and stuff. But even if I have any popularity it wouldn't say anything for the quality of my work, because a lot of crap is popular. The same would also work if I were unpopular (which I think I am~), because a lot of crap is unpopular. BUT, a lot of high quality things are popular and unpopular, too. So the point is that popularity, while a most often used gauge, really does not mean much of anything in terms of quality.

I think my life is either going to take two directions ~
1. I'll become a famous novelist and stuff.
2. I won't become a famous novelist and stuff, instead I shall go crazy and eventually commit suicide, but without the colorful background of drug and alcohol abuse because I hate drugs and all the alcohol I've tasted is gross....

Oh, Rumika, I'm stressed about my Chemistry grade, too.. ;.; I made a 75 on the first test so my grade is an 86.. we have two more tests and if I don't do well on them I'm just as screwed as you are. --;; I guess Chemistry teachers are Satan's descendants or something.. or at least ours are. --;; ::frets about the lab that she probably made a bad grade on ¬.¬ god i hate graphs...

Chemistry is the only grade I'm worried about now.. I think I've even got a better handle on Alg II, which is just bloody amazing.. I'm so awful at maths and sciences. Alright, not AWFUL, since if I were awful I would be flunking (and then I would be dead) but I'm not adept at them at all. Gimme my languages and my history and my english any day. o.O

I really need to go to bed, but this is seriously cracking me up XD

I don't think I've ever read a blog about typography before..but I find it strangely interesting..

Hahahaa..right on, Jessie XD

I think the thing about writing is that it's very, very easy to write.. I mean, most people have the ability to plunk down a piece of writing.. but it's very difficult to do well. whereas with other artforms like painting, drawing, music, acting and the like, it's difficult to even begin do those, much less do them well. I greatly admire anyone that creates their own music, as I imagine it must be quite hard to write original song lyrics, set them to a beat/melody/etc and then have enough talent leftover to sing them.

But most people, if forced, can write a story. Now it is likely that said story will be banal, cliche, and stupid, but they can still do it. But not a lot of people can get beyond the stick figure stage of art or the first lyric of a song, et cetera. And since so many people DO have writing on their personal pages, I think it's been sort of under-rated... I even see a lot of art rings that include such things as music, design, and of course the traditional art but exclude writing. This frustrates me, because writing is the only artform I'll ever be able to do with any sort of skill.

But I can see the reason why. A great deal of those in the 'teen personal page' subsection of the Internet just toss writing onto their page to pad their content total, without really giving any thought to its presence at all. So after seeing miles and miles of the same 'writings' and poetry, it tends to lose its meaning. Art has become another staple recently, but since, like I said, the average person hasn't evolved past the stick figure stage, it's not all that common yet.

Whine whine whine... gee, I wonder if this could be classified as a 'rant'...teen pages have lots of those, too... =p

Both Sally & Kai went to bed in sort of unfluffy moods last night.. I hope they feel better in the morning....

Duhr.. I need to link Jessie's blog.. o.O

&Maki's too.. yes...

Kristen said she might get herself a blog also~ :D I am converting so many lambs XD

& in case anyone's wondering.. yes, I do visit every blog/scribble/whatever I have lynked regularly.. they're not just there to look pretty; they function as my journal bookmarks in a way. ^^;

I told Kendra she could redesign Claris if she pleased.. she said it would be baby pink with bondage Sean.. now I am frightened, but in a good way XD

I realize that a lot of my layouts are 'guest'--including this one, actually. This is mostly because I am quite the horrible webdesigner, but also because sometimes Kendra wants something to design.. so I give it to her.. and because I just like seeing the stuff that Sally & Del come up with.. ^^;

Probably the site that gets redesigned the least is Angel's Fear.. actually not much ever happens with Angel's Fear.. it's mostly just a holding place for everything I've written that's online... filled with ideas that are going to be realized someday...because like I just said, I'm going to finish everything I start.

I actually have some outline written for Beautiful Creatures.. that'll probably be what I work on after I finish up Claris and before I go back to Clarity, since of the stuff on AF people seemed to like it the most. ^^;
The short stories there are all ancient.. I mean really old... which is why they suck and you probably shouldn't read them.. or I could just take them down~ but I do like some of them, old as they are ^^;

Why can't I have the ability to write vast amounts of quality fanfiction like this person...instead of the ability to write small amounts of not very good fanfiction and stuff that is not fanfiction at all~

Though actually I've been writing more this year than I ever have, because I've got myself a nice little discipline..which was bothersome-ly interrupted in the last two days because of the PSAT and other annoying things.. but I'm about back on track now and I finally got started on more ISV today... Not very much, mind you... but it tends to add up by the end of week (though it will be less this week because I didn't write on Monday & Tuesday)...but my general output is something like 1500 words a week, which is not bad, but it's shorter than it sounds. ^^;

I've wanted to be a fanfic writer, but it's really impossible... for one, a lot of fanfic writers are quite prolific and I'm.. um.. not. Not to mention I'm absolutely horrible at characterizing people that I didn't make up myself, which is why Clarity is not so much a fanfiction as it is a story which happens to have Sailormoon and Seiken Densetsu elements to it... & there's no way for anyone to dispute this claim, since the only thing I've ever written that used characters I didn't create myself is this unfinished piece of Final Fantasy 7 blarg...

Actually I shouldn't call it blarg, I kind of liked the idea at the time and I guess some other people did too, since I get the once-in-a-blue-moon mail asking me to finish it..^^; I think I will finish it, someday. I'm going to finish EVERYTHING I've begun, even if it takes me the REST OF MY LIFE... =p And with the completion of Clarity's first series and soon the completion of ISV I feel like I'm finally working towards that end... it's really better for me to focus on one piece instead of leaving it up in the air, since when I sit to write I can't ever decide what to work on.. but now I've decided for myself beforehand.. thusly I can work solidly on one thing till it's done and it will get done faster. :D

Woo~ A nice person (who sadly has no webpage) named Mei sent me some pretty fanart today.. that made me happy :D
Um... I had a test on symbolism in the Scarlet Letter, and my teacher said i burned it up & made a 99.. one of three A's XD So that was nice... still have to worry about algebra II & chemistry, though... ¬.¬

It's kind of strange that America is such a rich country, but we have such a huge debt... I mean, like, I heard it was in the trillions and so on. Amazingly, unfathomably gross amounts of money. And yet we seem to have a great deal of it at the moment...

I don't know. There's a lot of things wrong with America, but there's a lot of things wrong with every country out there (except maybe Singapore =p). And I like living here. I'm aware that America probably seems like a countryful of jerks to the rest of the world a lot of the time.. especially since Americans tend to take their patriotism to a very arrogant extent. And we have this obsession with being different, even if it makes us look stupid...like this whole business with our system of weights and measurements. Totally screwed up from the rest of the planet. ^^;

I need to reply to my email.. *_* Thank you to people who send me feedback.. you have no idea as to how pathetically happy it makes me.. same for fanart =p

Whoo, Rumika caught Kurai.. XD the Rose Tints my World layout looks fluffy.. & have you read clarity's end yet.. =P

The debates are on, but Bryan muted them... everyone seems to be discussing politics but me. But, if I were old enough to vote in this election, I would likely vote for our friend Ralph Nader...since both Gore and Bush strike me as people who walk around coated in a thin layer of slime.

...but like Sally said, realistically he doesn't have much of a chance..which is rather depressing. --

Today was highly stressful... mostly because I got a 49/60 on my math makeup thing.. It was originally a group thing, but since I was absent I had to do it alone. What kills me is that I really only missed one... but it took off ten points (then another one point for a wrong negative/positive sign)... Then I was also stressed because I left some creative writing work at home. We're doing a short story and we have to make charts and such for it, and I'd left like half mine on my bed.. -- So I spent most of the day being sullen and pissed off at myself, and when I got to creative writing and I was about ready for a breakdown.. Ms Garrison didn't seem to mind that I'd left my papers at home.. first she told me I could get several zeros and still get an A in her class, and then she asked me why I was always crying so much^^;

Then she told me to write down the name of whoever was upsetting so much so she could kick their ass..^^; It's nice that she seems to be fond of me, since I'm such a fuck up.. and I think so far this year I've come into that class crying like three or four times. I don't know why, but I feel like it's alright for me to cry in there.. and I'm also really awful at controlling it when I do start to cry, anyway. And no, I don't think crying is pathetic.. people say that it doesn't help, but for me, it does. It's cathartic. The bad thing about it is that it's terribly draining...

Anyway..yesterday was my mom's birthday and a long day otherwise; that's my excuse for not blogging. ^^; We went to a chinese restaraunt and sang happy birthday and embarrassed her XD Yesterday Sally also finished a beautiful redesign of her Reve page... :D

All the subpages ought to match up now.. woo..consistency ^^;

I'm looking at many things right now... like this, and this, and this...

Man, I need to eat. I have not had a solid meal in two days. o.O

JIGOKU: I AM NOT A FISH, Malloreigh. =P ... well. Not anymore, at least.

ETIENNE: Yay. She likes me. :D ::feels loved::

And refrigeratedcake.com is up... wooo ^^.. erase the fact that I have hw I'm not doing and this would suddenly be a great day XD

Hey, I'm listed on the most recently updated list.. maybe blogger does love me :D

I want to finish Reve's story next... I'm going to work on it as much as I can this week, but we're beginning a short story in Creative Writing and I think that might get in the way. -- But after Reve's story is done then I'll finally go back to work on Claris.. after I finish the first part of that, I think I'll switch off between stories. You know, write some of one thing one week, then write some of another thing another week, et cetera. I don't know how well that will work, but I'll try.

I'm using Kaitlyn as my main character in my short story.. mostly because Ms. G (my teacher--who is also my sadistic English teacher) told us to use a character we were comfortable with, and (aside from Claris) there is no one I'm more comfortable with than Kaitlyn. ^^; Despite the fact that we are actually very different (she is way more idealistic than I'll ever be..nicer too.. among other things^^;)..

My justification for all the men liking Kaitlyn the way they do is that they all have something in common..they want a mother. ^^; Aegis and Etienne both never knew their mothers (Etienne's died giving birth to him; Aegis's mother died of illness) and Reve just has an Oedipus complex with his.. and Kaitlyn is extremely mothering. They all pretty much want someone to take care of them, and they know that Kaitlyn can do that...it's probably the strongest with Reve and Etienne.. though maybe somewhat stronger with Reve, because Reve HAD a mother, and he loved his mom a _lot_..and Kaitlyn is a lot like her, even down to physical resemblance. ^^;; But Etienne is also just a little boy who wants his mommy to hold him, too. =p

ETIENNE: You're making me sound like a pansy.

LYN: But you are :D

ETIENNE: I'm going to take this time to reiterate that I hate you.

It's been a very, very long day. I spent much of the morning cleaning, and then the anime club was over until about five. The meeting went alright--we watched Mononoke and then everyone hoarded into my room to discuss... I threatened some people with a yardstick.. & then they all went home.

They DID help clean up, though, which I thought was awfully considerate of them. So considerate that I forgive them for partaking of my precious coke supply :D

I've gotten a few emails about Clarity's end. This lightens my heart. XD

Umm.. I have a test on symbolism in the Scarlet Letter in English tomorrow. I am going to fail so badly...damn I hope I can keep my grade up in that class --; I'm supposed to be good at english; why is this so hard? ::says she who made a 95 the first six weeks:: I think, with the four points, I have a 93 right now... I want to either keep it steady or bring it up.. getting a low B in English (the subject I'm SUPPOSED to be good at) would NOT please my parents at all.

It's so beautiful outside...