...and right after I said that, it got even better. Wow. I love this game. (too bad the gameplay sucks!!)

I think people that term it 'childish' or whatever probably got frustrated with it and quit before they reached where things become neat. :3; And I really wouldn't blame them, but still, if you can, you should really give this game a chance. Because it is neat.

Okay, Okage just got totally freaking awesome. o_o I mean, wow. o_o (::sigh.. no more reading journals tonight, I don't think XP;)

Give me everything you've got, baby. XP

If dysfunction is a function
and we learn by our mistakes
then I must be some kind of genius

With me it's a religion
Fifty thousand strong
--Genius; Pitchshifter

"So much for you being a unique and beautiful snowflake." (Rosalyn, to Stan XP) This game even has Fight Club references. XD (I got past the bull guy, [and the fifth evil king too] but it was a long battle.. he had a lot of HP)

Sorry for talking so much about Okage, but.. oh well. I read that PSM and was amused by its wildly inaccurate FFX information (it was only a preview, so I can't blame them, but it was still funny). Wakka's name was 'Ryugo' and it named two other people, 'Hakate' and 'Kitt.' I'm trying to figure who these people are. Maybe Auron and Rikku? Don't know. It also gave the impression that Yuna and Tidus are from the same time period (they're not) and that the whole world was submerged in water (it isn't). Almost as amusing as another speculation I saw on some websites about Tidus and Yuna's relationship being adulterous (given the screenshots released of Seymour & Yuna's wedding).

I think I'm at that bull demon king you mentioned, Tengu... or at least, that's the guy's name anyway. I'm in this guy's dungeon (no idea how the inside of a freaking tree can still manage to look like the inside of the Escapeless Abyss, which somehow managed to look exactly like the inside of the Big Ben clock tower dungeon but twice as complicated, and so on, but whatever) and LEVELING UP LIKE CRAZY. I swear, every single battle, everybody jumps two levels. I went with the levels around 15, have barely gotten anywhere (taken out two or three Urns, I think only two), and already everyone's at level 22. Holy crap. o_o; This is good and bad, because the higher his level gets the more HP it takes to do Ari's Overdrive mode (which is so incredibly useful for shortening the battle times).

I hate these dungeons, though. Okage is so disappointing in the gameplay aspect, which makes it twice as disappointing overall, because it's just so great in almost every other respect. I honestly want to know more about this plot, the characters are great, the designs are great, it's beautiful, Ari is too cute for words, I love it, but the dungeons and battles are just so damn repetitive and annoying. This is a great game that could have been magnificent (on par with FFX) if only someone in the programming department hadn't been too damn lazy to make it happen.

I just tore up my room looking for every possible book that may be fit to be turned into a reading journal (I found 9. Adding that to the one I've completely finished for Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, the one for Invisible Man that's about half done, and then add Hamlet and Macbeth, and I still need two more. Perhaps Faust and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf or something... I wish I'd bought those books now instead of checking them out from the library x_x). I also found some other interesting things and a lot of bittersweet nostalgia, as I usually do when I poke around the dust beneath my bed. Amongst the best findings (because I know that you care):

A stack of pictures from other people in nearly pristine condition, including the 'Clarity Picnic' picture Kai drew for my birthday last year (or was it the year before? I can't remember). I'd thought this picture was Lost and Gone For Ever, since the directory it was uploaded to got deleted and I hadn't saved it onto my harddrive.. and that the original had been ruined by Coke. But no, it is in perfect condition, not even wrinkled. How about that.

A PSM magazine from nearly a year ago that I don't even think I got to read because I lost it in the abyss of my bed before I could. This is from March of 2001. Guess who's on the cover? Tidus and Yuna of Final Fantasy X, in Scary, Scary, American style. Wow.

My Mortal Kombat: Annihilation CD. Wonder if it still plays. Will find out soon.

A peach prismacolor pencil. Skin colored pencils are always good finds.

A TON of Sailormoon individual issue comics. We're talking a motherlode here. I'd been wondering where the hell they all disappeared to.

And lastly, my cross/sword crystal pretty necklace that I love and haven't been able to find. (now I just need to find my crystal ankh...)

Hey, Nichole, since you seem to have a fair amount of my Old Crap, could you send that stuff to me (I don't have it)? I'd kind of like to have it, just for posterity...and to remind myself that I don't suck now as much as I used to.

Heh heh, Cowboy Bebop is cool. I'm glad I finally got to see it.

w00t! Thanks, Vera!! :D

(and thanks for the lovely Valentine, twolle! hee hee XD ::squeeze::)

Hey, it's my astrological chart. Hmm. o_o

HOLY GOD I don't know how I survived this day. I am so wiped out on every possible level. I think I may actually need to take a nap, and I never take naps.

First period I had a grade-making or breaking test. Grueling. Hope I did not fail as bad as last time. This, in addition to the way everyone was flaunting their goddamn love, in addition to all the homework I had to do because I forsake everything else to study for this stupid test, in addition to the anticipation of all the work I have to do for AP English THIS weekend and the very important day at Rhodes tomorrow, put me in the Worst of All Possible Moods Ever. I was a complete bitch at lunch, seriously. No excuse for it other than that I was just feeling hateful and mean. Unpleasantness. But it's not like nothing good happened.

I got some unsolicited hugs, which was nice (it's always nice when I'm not the one to initiate a hug), and while I got nothing as extravagant as the GIGANTIC balloon, roses, and singing ('How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You' specifically) stuffed bee that one girl received, I did get a fair amount of tasty candy. I also got an A on my Physics test...first A ever... o_O and we got back 'predictions' for how well we'd do on the AP Exam based on our praticed timed writings and Multiple Choice scores.. and to my great surprise, currently my prediction is a 5 (the highest possible, for anyone who may be unfamiliar with AP testing). o_O Sweet action, as my brother says.

In general I disagree with the thought that having a mute hero to whom you assign lines means that you, the player, shape his personality. This is because usually the responses you're asked to give has as much personality -to- them as 'Yes' or 'No.' In fact, in Chrono Trigger, it was often just that. The only time I can remember clearly is the first part, when you can either choose to be an asshole or choose to be kind (although even things you do that allegedly make you a jerk are really not all that bad, as it's not a stranger's responsibility to return another stranger their kitten, and it's not like that guy's lunch had his name on it...). Then again, it has been a few months since I played CT. Perhaps there were other instances I'm forgetting, but for the most part Crono was pretty damn bland. And I would say the same for most other mutes. Based on the choices you can make when they're asked a question, either they come off as one of two ways--a jerk (saying 'No' when someone asks you to help them, for example, or if someone asks if you want to hear their story), or a good, virtuous person (and more often than not you're forced into the latter category). So, no, I do not like mute heroes; I think the hero muteness was the biggest fault of games like CT. That doesn't mean Crono wasn't as cute as could be (he was), I just wished he could have had his own lines (a la characters like Tidus and Squall--they speak on their own, but you can choose their lines from time to time as well. I mean, I heavily disliked Squall, but the boy did have a personality).

I say that Ari has a degree of personality only because it's so glaringly obvious that he's a pushover (he's even called this in the game). It's like he almost has a reason to be mute, because no one would listen if he said anything anyway.

I think one of the choices for Ari's response list that pops up every time he's needed to express a thought should be 'Stand there and take it like a bitch' since that what he does, regardless (it's just a matter of taking it nicely or taking it meanly, sometimes, and often not even then XD). I mean, yeah, he's a 'mute hero' (though only mute in the sense that you choose what he says, not that he never says anything), but it's still obvious that he's just a walking doormat. I don't even think he does what Stan tells him to (and, later, Marlene) because of intimidation: it's just because he's plain acquiescent, seeing as how his family bosses him around and his 'childhood friend' probably pushed him around too, given the way she talks about how he used to behave. He's so cute though. :3;

Actually, because of that trait, he has a lot more personality than many other mute heroes I've seen (Crono comes to mind :3;)... but if Okage has anything, it's definitely personality. o_o

So I'm finally getting down to business regarding the 'reading journals' for AP English. My God, what a pain in the ass. How am I going to do fifteen more of these before the nineteenth?! This four day weekend is not going to be pleasant. Grr. Arrgh.

But I know that even if the deadline passes and I'm only, say, half-done (or even fully done, but they're all poorly half-assed pieces of crap), some part of me will be relieved because it will at least be finally over, and it won't be hanging over my head like some sort of horrible dark cloud of darkness. =P

It is my own fault, though, really. I probably should have done them book by book. That still wouldn't amount to sixteen, but at least I would have a lot less work to do. Bllleeargh.

Ahh, this here, this is exactly what I mean when I describe Donovan's claw as slipping onto his hand and sort of replacing his fingers, although obviously it only goes to his wrist and the claws are a little slimmer and sharper...and more of a silvery metal than a gold, but I guess that's not terribly important. (but.. I thought Vincent didn't have a real hand or arm at all? Still, it's a funny picture XD)

Somebody describe his/her car to me. Color, model, year, details, et cetera. Come on. Don't ask questions, just do it! XP (it's for Claris [even though, yes, at this moment I am writing Clarity])

Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Let the bodies hit the floor
Beaten why for
Can't take much more
One - Nothing wrong with me
Two - Nothing wrong with me
Three - Nothing wrong with me
Four - Nothing wrong with me
One - Something's got to give
Two - Something's got to give
Three - Something's got to give
Now
Let the bodies hit the floor
Push me again
This is the end
Skin against skin blood and bone
You're all by yourself but you're not alone
You wanted in now you're here
Driven by hate consumed by fear
Let the bodies hit the floor

--Bodies, Drowning Pool

Someone said this song reminded them of Sean once. I can see why, after hearing it (my brother, the epitome of white middle class male rage, has been playing it recently). Scary song.

Urgh, I so agree with this. I've actually been thinking about this a lot lately, and it's one of the reasons that I just hate school now.

Now, before I start, let me say that YES I have spoken white lies. I have said someone's picture or writing is nice when in my mind I'm thinking 'My God, that is awful.' But I try not to do that anymore, and I hated myself for doing it when I did it. Because to do so is bullshit. And that's what I hate. I hate all the bullshit that people are full of. And it's not just a few people, or it would be tolerable. It's almost everyone, online and at school and everywhere else, goddammit. People are friendly to your face and then when you're gone they say horrible things about you, they mock you, they put you down and laugh about you. People pretend they like your art, or your writing, or your characters, and then you find out they were full of crap and they never really liked any of it at all. Or, at school, a person will compliment a drawing and then continue acting like a bitch the next day. Urgh! Bullshit!

And it's not just because people have ulterior motives. It's because people are pussies. They're spineless, weak worms who not only can't handle the truth, they can't handle TELLING the truth because god forbid it might lead to a confrontation, or even a discussion. And you know what? I've been guilty of this. I've lied to avoid confrontation, but like I said, it's something I'm trying not to do and I hated myself when I did it. Because it's just cruel, it's just stupid. Why is a white lie cruel? Because you're cheating that person. You're telling them you like it when you don't, and if they ever find out, obviously they're not going to trust you, are they? Because if you lie about that, what else do you lie about? Everything, maybe.

But I'm not saying that people should just frankly mouth off to everyone. I still advocate kindness. If I read something I don't like (which happens a LOT in Lit Mag XD), or if I see a piece of art I don't like, either I say something constructive, I say nothing, or I find something about it that I like and comment on that (since usually every poem or every picture has some likable aspect. a lot of stuff sucks, but most of it isn't total crap). Although, with art, even if I like the picture as a whole I tend to comment specifically on a part that I really like (like, coloring, or design, or clothing).

On another note, I guess I should be thankful that most (note that I say most. not all. but most) of my readers are brutally brutally honest people (and loyal. thank you) who don't hesitate to point out mistakes and awkwardness. I guess I don't get upset about it because (besides it usually being phrased in a relatively non-offensive way..) there's usually some compliments in there too, but you should see some of the feedback I get... XD Anyway, I'm glad that I attract honest people and not sycophants who just like everything I do (although a sychophant or two is nice XD;;), for the most part. -_-

God, you have no idea as to how much I wish it were May. How badly I want school to be over with, how badly I just want to leave, leave forever and never come back. I hate everything about school. Everything. School is torture, and it's only getting worse.

It will be better after this horrible project for English is done, because then it won't be looming over me (although I'll probably not even get it done and get a horrible grade on it, but them's the breaks), but still it will be bad.

And... I don't know... things are just unpleasant right now. Very unpleasant. They may still be unpleasant when May comes around, but at least school will be over, and that will be a good deal of unpleasantness removed, forever.

::sighs:: -__- I am not happy, nailbunny.

Hmm, I'm hearing all these conflicting opinions on Okage. I think I'm going to keep it though. I'm still not far in (Chapter 3... just left Madril), and it definitely has its aggravating points. Most prominent is that it's slow. Walking in and out of buildings takes forever because of the load time between screens. It takes a while for the experience/rewards screen after a battle to disappear too, and the battles are somewhat annoying. I guess the back of the box calls them exciting because everyone on the field is jumping around like cats on crack (cookie for you if you get that reference), monsters and heroes alike.

The game is really funny though. I can't remember when I've laughed so much at a video game, although I hope it's not all silliness (and there's been a few little hints that it isn't). I like a mix. But seriously, it's so hilarious, especially any exchange with Stan and another character. The scene in the sewer with him and Rosalyn was great (especially when she has her sword to Ari's throat and he says [or rather, has the option of saying] 'Okay, this sucks' and then 'Oh my god' XD).

The character design is kind of hit and miss for me. Some of the designs are very ugly (mostly townspeople) but then again some are just plain cool. The Nightmare Before Christmas/anime hybrid style works well when it works (Ari is one such success. God he is so cute). And everybody wears striped stockings. What the hell. o_o;

Also, is it me, or does Rosalyn (who is also very cool) look a hell of a lot like Beatrix (from FFIX)?? o__O

And it cracks me up that the narrator never says Ari's name, just like no one ever says Tidus's name in FFX, because the names are changeable. But in Okage, Ari's name will be on the screen that the narrator is reading aloud from.. he'll just say 'the hero' or 'the boy' instead of 'Ari.' Most amusing.

Updated Kurai.

So I bought Okage: Shadow King. I've only fought one battle so far, but the game is hilarious and has a lot of personality/charm. I'm told that it gets wearying after a while and it never gets serious (although there's definite potential for seriousness, and I love the premise)... and that the battles are reeaaally boring. I guess if it grates me I'll take it back or something, but if I do, I want to know what I should get instead: Grandia II or Shadow Hearts? I also saw a game called Ephemeral (I think it was that) Fantasia which looked sort of interesting. I was considering getting SH instead of Okage, but I was depressed and figured Okage would be more upbeat. n_n;

"If you're not in it for the pain, you're not in it." --Carl Hiaasen on writing. XD

Fresh Karma. Scary, scary scenery. -_-;

(took this link from RPGWorld, of course, though it's Limp Bizkit related) Holy crap, man, that's not just evil, that's appalling... especially if they really do steal any of the amateur music they're hearing.