Making an argument and then leaving before the other person can respond is smarmy. =P

Okay... let's see how many pages of Karma Slave I can draw before I pass out on the floor or revert to stick figures due to dementia.

I am trying to get Work Done because I really want kurai to be updated this weekend..since I ph33r I may be grounded on Monday for my grades (report cards go home then, and I'm 99 percent sure that I have a C in physics). I'm looking forward to going to see Monsters Inc with my friends tomorrow, but mom is threatening to take me clothes shopping as well, which will not be a pleasant experience because she'll pick out the smallest things she can find and then complain about how I'm too fat to fit into them. >_>

For those of you who don't remember what I look like and must be thinking I'm a real heifer for my mom to be calling me fat all the time, here's photos again. Do I look all that fat to you? I know I'm not thin, but if you listened to mom you'd think I was some sort of whale that beached itself or something.

I was reading Laris's blog, and you know, our family situation is so alike that it is scary. I, too, feel in the shadow of my brother, who is probably going to go to a much better college than me and in general make a lot more out of my life than I am. That's not to say that I don't have ambitions--if you know me, you know I do--I just don't care about going to a big-name college or getting a big-name job or anything of that nature.

I love both my parents more than anything, but sometimes I just can't stand the way my Mom talks to me. She blames it on my brother, and while it may be partly true, I think the reason I'm so neurotic about what everyone thinks of me is the things she says to me. Every other word out of her mouth is critical--'You need to lose weight.' (as I've said, I'm 5'4, about 140 lbs. Hardly thin, but according to every weight and height chart I've read, hardly over weight either, given my frame) 'Fix your hair.' (Excuse me if I don't want to waste hours of my life trying to get something as inconsequential as my bloody hair to lie flat) 'Change clothes. When you're with me, you'll dress decently.' (I wear dresses, people. All the time. These are apparently not decent enough for my mom)

When she's not doing that, she's complaining about my skin (like most teenagers, I have some acne, though it's actually mostly on my back...and it's much less pronounced than most), which I wash every day in addition to swabbing it with deep cleansing liquid and other such nonsense. Now, her complaints about my room are valid... it can get pretty terrible in there. But I do pick it up every week (just did, actually), although of course my idea of 'neat' (bed made, dirty clothes in a pile in the corner, everything else picked up and cleared away from the carpet) is still mom's idea of 'disaster area.' She just complains about everything. And, like Laris, my dad usually either stays out of it or only gets upset with me/Bryan to mom and not to our faces, unless we've done something terrible (such as take his stapler and forget to put it back.. things like that really piss him off). It's a little weird to have such an overbearing mother and such a lowkey father, but it's better than having them BOTH be overbearing, I guess.

OK, so maybe it's not THAT alike... but I definitely feel you, Laris. -__-

Now on a similar vein--
It's hard for me to label myself as an intelligent human being when I'm always surrounded by my brother and his friends--people who are, possibly, the most intelligent kids currently attending my school. So you have the problem of a person like me, who is by all standards definitely Above Average, and then you have people like my brother's friends (and in some areas, my brother himself), who are astronomically above average. My only saving grace is the way I wipe the floor with anything relating to English on standardized tests or otherwise, and even then I don't know if I'm skilled enough to get a 5 on the AP Exam. -_- Plus those good English scores are more than equalized by my abysmal mathematical abilities. I mean, it's scary--I get a 770 or something on the SAT in Verbal, and then, boom, 490 or something in Math. That is a HUGE discrepancy. -__-;

A lot of MY friends are insanely smart, too (Kai would be a prime example. 35 on her ACT. ARGH.), and if they're not all that adept at academic stuff, they're great at other things (such as martial arts and Dance Dance Revolution XD--and just generally being more well adjusted). But mostly it's my brother and his friends, most of whom are nothing short of brilliant (note that I say most. My brother, for some reason [he says terrible things about this person all the time], is friends with a guy named Justin, who, while at times witty, is more often than not an annoying theater cretin. We've disliked each other since we met in sixth grade. It's actually hard to believe he has a black belt in Taekwondo, given how much he's let himself go... but Justin could be a whole other blog entry...). For the most part (saying most for Justin again) they're pretty nice to me, too... pretty much the reason why I don't hate guys entirely. But I digress. The point is that while I'm--by no means--a STUPID person, I don't come anywhere close to the level of intelligence held by many people I associate with. In addition to regular academic intelligence, I just can't do a lot of things most people can do (I'm kind of a flake that way). I don't even have my driver's license yet (though one could argue that's just out of pure laziness). Hff. This is wandering off into nowhere, so I'm just going to stop now and go back to trying to Get Things Done.

Oh, you can.. but not until Wednesday. I think I'll send my mom to get us some. x__x

It's not long now, my friends. It's not long now. The main thing that worries me (besides the movie sucking) is not being able to get tickets. People down South love Harry Potter as much as anyone else (though we may have more vocal opposition in the form of morons that think it promotes Satanism), and I would be right pissed if I were denied a showing because we didn't get there fast enough. I don't think you can order advance tickets from Malco theaters though...

Yep, something wrong with the comments. Ar.

I wonder if there's something wrong with my comments or if I've just been really boring lately (possibly both).

...actually... I don't feel like it. XD; Maybe tomorrow. It will be the weekend and I'll probably have nothing to do but try to remember what went on then. -_-;

I've been feeling so lackadaisacal (I hope I spelled that right...) lately... Miserable and existentialist. Like there's no reason to care about anything. Why do I get upset all the time? Does any of it really matter? I estimate that I spend the majority of my time being either depressed or pissed off, and it's all usually over stupid, superficial, petty crap that I probably take to mean more than what it does. And the fact that I get so depressed and pissed off over this stuff is depressing me and pissing me off, because I can't HELP getting depressed and pissed off...(I hope that made sense)

The more and more I think about it, the more idiotic it gets. But I'm still miserable. I think it may just be because I hate it when things change. When something is established (like, say, a relationship...), I like it to stay that way, because I'm used to it... and I feel... unnerved... when that stability disappears. Especially when it disappears out of me only doing what I thought the other person wanted me to do. -_-

But like I said... the more I think about it, the more stupid it seems to get all depressed about it, because my being upset isn't going to do anything....

... Now I'm distracted by hearing Krillin's voice on DBZ and thinking 'Hey, I met that guy' XD;; Speaking of which, I haven't yet done a con commentary. Well, I'll do that now then, to distract me. Here we go.

Jumi's closed officially. I figure it's better than letting the thing rot. I would have done it earlier if I had more of a spine, and I still feel bad for everyone that made such good characters, but... there was no joy in it, and it was a poorly organized mess anyway. And since I'm wallowing in the 'I don't care anymore because everything sucks and nothing matters' attitude, I finally got the guts to just kill it altogether. I feel bad for everyone's characters (especially everyone that never got to play -_-), but one of the things I hate MOST about the PBeM community is how NOTHING EVER GETS DONE. And nothing was getting done, and I didn't WANT to get anything done, so there was no reason to keep it up and pretend.

81% obsessed...hell yeah XD

In a surprising turn of events, it's Bryan's computer that's all gone to hell... but that means he's also messing with mine, trying to get the network to work... so I'm hoping he doesn't mess Malfactor up again in the process... >_>

i feel mildly ill.

This is a good page for links to people involved in the wrimo and the pages they have for their novels. I've read a few, and a lot of them are written very well, I think (certainly better than mine), but a few are... um... well, let's say they're really getting into the spirit of the event. XP;;

I know I'm not going to get anywhere CLOSE to finishing the wrimo.. I'll be SURPRISED at myself if i I make it to 25K of words. I mean, Clarity is what--maybe 75 thousand words? And it took years to write, literally. There's no way I'm going to be able to churn out 50K of writing, even 50K of horrible writing, in a month, especially when I have so many other things to worry about (college & grades, namely. goddamn physics to hell) and so many other stories to write. So I'm not deluding myself into thinking I'll finish. Mostly this is just an excuse to have some fun. I do want to get to my villain at least, though, for he shall be the most evil, vile, and despicable villain I have ever created! Even more evil and vile and despicable than Claris's villain, who, despite having done many evil and vile things, does have pretty valid motivation (or he does now at any rate).

Oh god, the simpsons' halloween special was hilarious XD That Harry Potter parody was priceless (I saw a kid that looked like Draco sitting behind Bart!! But that may have just been my fangirlishness). Hee hee, Harry spit brimstone. The funniest part was Smithers eating Mr Burns though.. ::cracks up thinking about it::

Arrgh I HATE IT when a person has to go but you haven't finished saying what you wanted to say yet!! ::thrashes about violently::

In other news, I have a page for the wrimo, which contains all that I have so far written. Ph33r it.

I think it's time for some changes.

Expect them. Soon.

I'm going to go back to sleep... I feel tired and useless...unwanted, too, but that doesn't have anything to do with physical sickness. -_-

I came from school early today... I've been sleeping/reading Heart of Darkness. I feel awful, and I don't just mean in the pathetic teen angst way. I can hardly walk (forget about climbing/descending stairs)--my legs hurt, I can hardly breathe, and I can't think straight. I could take these things one at a time, but altogether they're too much. So I went home, missing the first day of school all year, and my Physics test... which I'm telling myself I probably would have failed anyway so it doesn't matter if I take a makeup that goes on the next marking period. -_-

And, since Sally wants it so much, YOU'RE REALLY PISSING ME OFF, especially since a lot of my misery posts aren't related to you at all, my presumptuous friend. =P

I'm back, alive (though congested ._.), and it fortunately seems that everything is actually in order. w00t.

I'll have a full commentary on the convention (including our spate of mishaps that, despite being very annoying, did not ruin the entire event because the con was full of wonderful, kind people, the kind that I KNEW EXISTED but just hadn't met yet =P) tomorrow or something, but let me say a few things: The Fans' View people already have photographs up (Kai [as Wolfwood] and some of my other friends are there :D), and I met Kellilla Yarwood, though I believe I made a right idiot of myself in doing so. All her costumes looked great; as did her artwork. :D

Oh, and you will not find me in any of the Fans' View photos, or likely in any photos of any writeups of this con, because I was one of those attending who didn't wear a costume. ^_^; (just a simple grey patterned dress the first day and a leopard print dress today)