It's disturbing to me, sometimes, at how really terribly easy it is to just throw away your online existence. I mean, if I put up notice pages saying that everything that I was leaving 'the scene' such as it were and kurai was gone and everything else I ever wrote would soon disappear from the Internet, what could anyone really do about it? Not a thing, that's what.

DOUBLE PLUS UNGOOD! ;____; Don't lleeeaaaaaavvveeee

Aaaahhh, I emailed Jhonen Vasquez :B;;;; I asked about everyone's ages and Dib's mom and stuff... I hope AOL doesn't eat the mail... I hope I get a response back... x__x Even if I don't, I'm proud of myself for working up the courage to ask anyway. It's hard trying to approach people you don't know, even if it is electronically, especially if you respect them. Add in my Immense Social Phobia and it just gets scary. .__.;

So I'm sitting here, puttering around for a few minutes (just a few...which is why I'm not AIM) before I have to get up and go to the SAT... I'm trying to keep calm about it...

See, I pretty much have three main frames of mind. The first goes like 'What is the meaning of life? Why do we exist?', the second is 'OH GOD I have to do really well on [insert test here] or else my parents will kill me OH GOD PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON MY PATHETIC SOUL' and finally 'Screw you guys, I want some more Coke.'

I generally lean towards the second state of mind when thinking about the SAT. :B;

Hey, BTLC got updates and a spiffy new design. :3

OK, really going to bed now.

Oh, that wasn't the best part of our conversation, Jaimie-J...


ChibiHiroyuki: Oh, I dun believe he'll [Zim] grow nay taller or anything.
ChibiHiroyuki: Just trying to support those poor romance lovers. XD;;;
Izumimiya: i think it would be amusing if he did :B
Izumimiya: hopefully he would thin some if he did though X3;
ChibiHiroyuki: A chubby, tall Zim. XD;; How cute.
ChibiHiroyuki: But I have a fun fluff idea.
Izumimiya: noo, must be thin
Izumimiya: thin boys are sexy :3
what is that?
ChibiHiroyuki: XD;; Pale scrawny guys are!
Well, I was talking to someone about the age thing, and I thought it'd be funny to write a comedy where Dib and Zim get together, but as the years pass Zim never really . . . gets big . . . but Dib grows to 6' 3". XD;;
ChibiHiroyuki: That'd stretch on a relationship.
Izumimiya: that would be just scary :B;
Izumimiya: 'Hff..hff.. you're crushing me!'
'Oops, sorry'
ChibiHiroyuki: XD;; But funny if done right. *nods* I think.
ChibiHiroyuki: XDDD!!!
ChibiHiroyuki: Oh, God, I didn't even think of that!
Izumimiya: heh heh heh XD
Izumimiya: "::feel feel:: Oh, Zim..."
"Um.. Dib.. that's my eye you're touching"
ChibiHiroyuki: XD;;; Lyn! How gross. . . but funny.
ChibiHiroyuki: Hmm *considers* I could right that. XD;;;
Izumimiya: i am sick and twisted :B i could probably think of more if given time X3;
ChibiHiroyuki: I bet you could! Now my mind is roving in bad directions. XD Bad influence, that you are!
Izumimiya: ::could think of something -really- gross but will not say it :b;;::
Izumimiya: i like to let other people think my dirty thoughts for me, which is why i read bad stories but don't write them^^;
Izumimiya: like that red and purple story XD XD

Hahaha. Oh, God, everyone thinks I'm a pervert now. XD;; Oh well. :B; Time for bed. :B;

OK, opinions on tonight's Zim.. X3;; Well, this set of episodes was really focused on Dib, even though Zim was in the first. Don't get me wrong, I love Dib; but I enjoy the show most when Dib and Zim are interacting. They are amusing and interesting by themselves, but together it's just great. XD; Also there has been a distinct lack of GIR lately and that is depressing me, because I love GIR. :3

Anyway, I thought Zim's 'molt' was extremely disgusting, though I was laughing hysterically while watching it, which just shows you what a sick twisted person I am. :B; The cow making crop circles was also funny. ^^; I found it mildly depressing that Membrane doesn't even recognize Dib, and he hardly pays attention to him besides. It also makes me wonder--where the hell is Dib and Gaz's mother? Is she dead? Is she in a mental hospital somewhere? I think if they were divorced then his mother probably would have gotten custody, since Membrane seems rather negligent o__o But she hasn't yet been mentioned, not even in the parent teacher night episode.. o__o

You might think this is going beyond obsessive, but actually I always wonder when a parent is missing in cartoons/books/etc. I wondered for the longest time whatever happened to Arnold's parents on another Nick show (titled inventively, Hey Arnold)... though I liked the show, I only watched it occasionally and eventually not at all, though tonight Etoile enlightened me. :B; I also wonder about the parents of the Gundam pilots on Gundam Wing...basically anything I watch or read in which I notice a younger character with a lack of parental presence I notice and think about. Not sure why. ^^; (for those that care, I'm lucky enough to have both my parents, and they are nice if at times very scary people)

ANYWAY...

Zim is one of the few shows out today that actually makes me laugh aloud..most everything else I watch that is categorized as a comedy just makes me smile or at best elicits a mild chuckle, but I seriously crack up with Zim :B; Perhaps I am disturbed :B;

By the way, I liked your pictures, Jaimie-J X3 Gaz looks pretty :3 (but why does everyone give Dib and Gaz black eyes? They're a pretty pretty gold *__*) I, too, wonder if Zim is a child or adult, though I lean towards adult, simply because he seemed to be treated like one on Irk (albeit a very incompetent adult, but an adult nonetheless). He sure acts like a manic little kid though. :B;

As you can see, I am playing with my settings.. X3 X3 Invader_lyn is my chat name in the Angels room; I expect you read Sally's blog, Jaimie-J. :3;; I told her not to post my Freudian slip but she did anyway. XD; Oh, and you can use any of my Zim commentary for whatever you want. ^^; Kyla and I were considering making a Zim page ourselves, but she backed down after we saw that there were already a fair number popping up, so it's not happening. :B;

Hey, they played Depeche Mode's new song 'Dream On' on Nash Bridges... I recognized the lyrics from a sample I'd downloaded and told Bryan to go back..they played like the whole thing. Cool. :3

Jaimie-J, what do you mean hosted..?^^;; It's (one of) Del's site(s). :B;

To be honest, I really think that I'm capable of mixing humor and drama, or at least, that's what I try to do...if asked, I wouldn't know whether Clarity or Claris is the more dramatic of my two most worked on series, since they both have serious parts... although a lot of their story is focused on weird, hopefully-amusing stuff as well. XD; I also don't know which is easier. I think they're both fairly difficult to do well: everyone has different ideas of what is funny and what is not funny, and when you're trying to be funny, you just have to hope your sense of humor appeals to your audience.

But poorly done drama can get ugly. Drama that is overdone and squirming and all over the place has the power to make me physically ill, while comedy that is not funny will just make me roll my eyes and move on with my life.

Speaking of poorly done drama (XB;), I finished the draft of my Zim story...that is, it's all handwritten in my notebook. I'm debating on whether or not to go through the work of typing it up and editing it, because it is indeed very depressing and probably one of the few stories I've ever written in which the ending is not all that happy. Another thing I like about Zim is that while it's obviously intended to be light hearted (though in a dark, disturbing kind of way), the potential for seriousness remains, especially in the exploration of Zim and Dib's obvious psychological issues. o__o; Zim seems to suffer from massive delusions of grandeur, and what I wrote is just what could happen if he allowed them to dissolve (nothing violent or showy, don't get any hopes up^^;).

Of course, I could just be over analyzing, but that's what makes fanfiction fun. :3

Of course, the main reason I want Friday here, besides the fact that it means this ugly week is done with, is because new Zim will be on... I understand that there are some readers of this blog who are still in the dark on what exactly Zim is, so I shall explain.

Invader Zim is a cartoon show, created by Jhonen Vasquez, mastermind behind such comics as Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee!, and I Feel Sick. Most would not consider him a candidate to put on a show intended for the younger set, given the generally graphic nature of his work, but, well, they're wrong. XD; Besides, as Vera already figured out, his most violent work (JTHM) is not meant glorify violence but actually decry it... just in a very violent way. XD;

Anyway, Zim is essentially about an incompetent, highly emotional/maniacal alien named (get ready for this) Zim, and his futile efforts to prepare Earth for an invasion from his home planet, which will never come, because the rulers of the planet sent him off in hopes that he would never come back. ^^; His most obvious detriment to this conquest is a boy named Dib who is obsessed with the paranormal. Their interaction is one of my most favorite parts of the show. Also add in Zim's very amusing robot GIR, who is actually made from random debris, and Dib's constantly annoyed and somewhat apathetic little sister Gaz, who probably would not care either way if Zim were an alien or not. ^^;

That is a very poor summation, but it does cover most of the principal characters...anyway, it's a hilarious show, and it's very well-animated and drawn, with excellent music, the likes of which has never been heard in children's cartoons before. My brother and myself were actually surprised that it was given a Y rating, as certain aspects of the show are a bit more than mildly disturbing. But it amuses me and makes me happy (like Harry Potter, though obviously in different ways XD;), in a point in my life when I desperately need something to do both of those things. x__x; There really isn't anything quite like sitting down to watch a show you really, truly enjoy, especially for someone like me, because I hardly ever watch any TV. I get the same feeling from sitting down to read books I really enjoy, or movies for that matter, and I get it from Zim, hence my current obsession. :B

If you have cable or satellite or whatever, it is easy to find, because it is on Nickelodeon (the inferior station to Cartoon Network, but it has produced some wonderful shows [Rocko's Modern Life springs immediately to mind :3]...sadly it's been plagued by the ugliness of the Klasky&Csupo animation studio as of late... I'm sorry, but their style is so mind bendingly unattractive x__x;;), on Fridays, at 8 P.M. Central Time (adjust according to your Time Zone :3;). If you're curious about it, watch it sometime--it's only half an hour. If you like it, great. If you don't, then..well, nothing I can do. ^^; And if you don't have cable (as Laris and Ali), then I'm so sorry x__x

I'm aching for Friday...right now I'm collecting information and pictures to print out and paste onto construction paper for this 'scrapbook' I have to do for English, and after that I've got to do more hardk0re studying for my Chemistry test. I am doing really poorly right now in Chemistry. So poorly that it's beginning to frighten me, yet I am somehow not screaming and crying over it...maybe because it's the last six weeks. I'm trying to work harder, of course, but I really just want to get the hell out of my junior year. At the same time, though, I'm a little scared of being a senior. Ms. Garrison told me today that I'm going to be senior editor of the lit mag next year, which is like, really important and lots of work. Plus I'll have AP English, though all my other classes shouldn't be terribly taxing. At least the taxing stuff is in what I like.

Also... Kai is taking a LOT of AP classes, which means a LOT of work, which means we might not get to see each other (online or offline) as much... Now, to her, this might be a good thing (XP), but next year will be the last we have together, because you know after that is college...and we definitely are not going to the same college. ^^;

It's best not to worry about the future like I am, though. Living day by day is much easier on the soul, and if you're going to think about the future, then you shouldn't worry about what might be bad..but dream of what could be good.

Oo, Vera's blog looks so purti :3
(yes, I'm in a repliage mood o_o;)

Charis, those people are bitches, but we still love you.

::thocks Jaimie-J:: The Jhonen fanart page is lovely, but you must needs finish Loyalty Chip. :3 I don't know, I'll probably post what I'm writing anyway, but it's not funny or amusing at all and in fact is rather depressing...or at least that's the way it's going. Maybe it will surprise me by the end. ^^;

Kylee: I can't say, or it will spoil what I think is one of the neatest plot points I've ever come up with in my entire life. XD;; But I enjoy speculation X3 It shows that you care and that makes me happy :B; And Arden's page isn't up because I suck :B; I'm sorry Rei-fluff :B;; It will be, soon. (need to link your blog too...)

Oh, God, Jaimie-J, Loyalty Chip is AWESOME XD HAHAHA XD 'Word slave!' oh, that is hilarious XD;; FINISH IT NOW XD

I have begun a Zim fic as well, but it is dark and depressing and I don't know if I will put it up anywhere even when I finish it. :B;;;;

OH YES I am doing bad in Chemistry right now. But so is everyone else, and a lot of them are doing MUCH WORSE, so it's OKAY.

well i don't wanna be president
superman or clark kent
i don't wanna walk round in their shoes
cos i don't know whose side i'm on
i don't know my right from wrong
i don't know where i'm going to
i don't know about you
i'll be the rain falling on your fire escape
and i may not be the man you want me to
i can be myself--how bout you
i don't wanna make you mad
i don't wanna meet your dad
i don't wanna be your dream come true
cos i don't know just what i've found
i don't know my sky from ground
i don't know where i'm going to
i don't know about you
i'll be the rain falling on your fire escape
and i may not be the man you want me to
i can be myself--how bout you
I can be myself
How bout you?
--fire escape, by fastball

::listening to Del's Claris Project soundtrack CD :3::

Wooo, Kurai has a new layout, at last :3 :3 Gaze upon its beauty :3 (I didn't make it, of course. ^^;;;;)

Uh..

Updated Kurai.